Red Hot Sexy Heaven

I went to Phuket again.

For 10 days. There I said it. I must love that place to death.

Just need to get away from work. And yes, work is amazingly terrible. So much so that I need to run as far as I could. I love my job too much and it is consuming my life. 

And I am so burnt out. It is not healthy. I need to let it go and get another job which does not disrupt my social life. I feel like an outsider with my mom and brother. They made decision without letting me know. I am not involved at all. I came back only to find out that they were heading to Malaysia (like right now as we speak).

My mom told me to quit this job (here i go again, waiting for validation from you). "It is so unhealthy. You love your job to death". I need to learn to go home at 6pm and not 8 or 9pm... i need to learn to not coming in on Saturday... cos work will never end... argh. My sixth sense told me to leave this job but my brain said to hold on till the economy gets better... but my heart said "Why quit when you love the job?".

Sometimes you just need to leave and walk away from it... i don't want to be those grumpy old men later on in life complaining that i should have just walked away .... 

Anyway, 2nd June was my first anniversary at work. Yay! I survived those politics... I am sick of the office politics that are happening in the office... too much bitchiness... I refused to get involved eversince I came back from Phuket in January. Some bastards used my name to get ahead but it caught up with them recently. The wheel of retribution perhaps?

My stand on gossips still ; I hear, I swallow and I forget about it.

My stand on 'using my name' ; go to GM and get it clear.

Did i tell you that i had a lovely holiday? Lol. I switched off my phone at most time. I just need to learn to not bring my laptop.

I had a bad flight home though. Kids were crying throughout the flight cos of ear blockage. I sat on the same row as this old white dude with a thai lady partner. His partner was complaining of the noise and wanted to change seats when the plane was about to take off. Not once but TWICE! And when the plane was still in ascending mode, he removed his seat belts and wanted to change seat AGAIN! How stupid can this old bald guy be? He cussed at the stewardess... I thought it was a dumb move when the seat belt signs are not off... Can't he like wait?

ooh ooh did i tell you that i am going holiday again in August? i need to clear my annual leave before 31 August. It is either Pattaya, Koh Samui, Perth or Sydney?! Pattaya is out cos it is dirty and sleazy lol

I will be twittering soon lol

... for an insightful tour.

An eye-opener. Very emotional trip. I do not wish to step into one... in my life. Nor do I want to go to another tour of such wreckage.

3 pax in a cell. Shower head and a toilet in there. Locked for hours. days. years or life perhaps.

It is a mental punishment. I am still recollecting it. 

I can still feel the sadness of that place. I see young guys and old men. Young lost their future and Old won't know the future, let alone the present.

I can't imagine being in there. I swear to be a good person... but why am I having this feeling that HEY! I DON'T MIND THAT PLACE! and yet, I am trembling inside... 

Anyway, they showed us clips of a father crying when the son hugged him when he achieved something positive in prison for a baking competition. Every essence of you will floor into reality when you looked around the place... We met the inmates and they are like you and I... wishing for the best in their life but circumstances threw them into negativity.

I am traumatised actually. A trip that I won't forget. Thanks to my work for giving me the opportunity to visit Prison. I support Yellow Ribbon Project.

Awfully tired.

I was told by my mom to look for another job. Last week, she saw me for an hour each day. That bad.

Coming week, she will probably not see me at all. I have to leave real early and come back after 10pm.

I am tired.

I love my job... but sometimes, you need to let it go for the sake of health. You know when it is not good for you. Meantime, I am loving the moment. It is going to be a year for me!

Rather than focusing on the tiresome negativity on my life which is work-related, I should concentrate on this ME time. Someone out there, please teach me on how to detach myself from work.

I have questioned myself.... "Why can't I give the same commitment towards my social life like I do to my work? Why?" 

Arrrrgggh. As I am typing this post, my mind is also wondering on the tasks that I should complete yesterday.

Anyway, anywoo, what's interesting? Hummm i read "The Last Lecture" and cried till my eyeballs popped out boohoo-ed especially the portion that .... you have to read the book...  

I found the second, third and fourth book of Twilight series and yes, the final 2 books were sold out everywhere. I managed to get the last copy at an unlikely shop....

I got two days off and I had no idea what to do with my days. I was so lost that I spent $500 within three hours on shoes, pants and pants. And shoes. That's not it. I went to the same mall twice in a row.What the hell.

And I bought more books. WHAT?! Anyway, don't panic over that $500 cos that was my annual shopping spree. NOT monthly shopping. My dear pocket deserved your panicky mode. Truly.

What else? I just finished a whole pack of potato chips. All.By.Myself. Waiting for KFC delivery. Yes, I am A LAZY BUM today and proud of it. Don't spoil my destress session. It's been an hour. Where is MY KFC? Never anger a hungry man. Gggggrrrrrr. Cut him some slack. It's raining.

My big boss, who is literally BIG, ate 4 MEGAburgers at one time. What the fcuk. 16 beef patties in all. Woah. I tried MEGA Sausage McMuffin with Egg and I was full.

Hummmm... KFC is here FINALLY. I have WATCHMEN movie preview on Monday. PUSH movie is on Tuesday.... I have not been to the gym for ages. Lazy bum.

I ran around the reservoir and was breathless at 4km mark. Lazy bum. What else. Oh yah i work my ass off. 

I feel like I am a stranger in my own house. I was the last to know that my brother was getting engaged (again). I was the last to know that my mother is going to Malaysia with my brother and aunts and this was planned since December last year. I am the last to know when (and where) my mom goes out on weekends.

Like right now. And last night. I have not seen her since Friday night. I am going to interogate her later. 

I know the cause of this poor communication. Work. MY work. I start my day at 5.45am, head to office by 8.30am and work my ass off till 8pm (officially work ends at 6pm). I should learn to let go off work at 6pm. And have a life. My life starts at 8pm and I will be too tired to head somewhere else.

From tomorrow onwards, I shall go home latest by 6.30pm-7pm. Anyway, I will update if my workaholicsm slows down.

Anyway, I watched Bride Wars and Inkheart. Bride Wars was surprisingly lovable and I am a huge fan of Anne Hathaway. Love Ella Enchanted haha. Inkheart was kind of so-so. It gave me a better understanding of the book though. This week, am invited to watch the gala premiere of Slumdog Millionaire. Am so not going to miss that! I kinda looking forward to watching 'He's Just Not That Into You' and 'Watchmen'... am doing a preview for that.

I have something to tell you. I feel like letting this job go cos it is draining away my energy and time spent with family BUT I love this job. Where else can I be the first to listen to new music and watch movies without incurring any cost? Ok ok internet but I so frigging love this job. I just need more time and get pesky colleagues off us. And yes, it is not only me. All in my department.

Time flies very fast and this is my 9th month at the radio. Woah. 3 months more to a year anniversary. I can endure this office politics. Ooh is it crazy to go for a short holiday after you just returned from one like two weeks ago? I hear and see retrenchment news everyday. I hope the economy will heal asap. We can't afford increasing costs and unemployment!

I hope you are fine. HUGS.